(Photo source: Nubia Navarro (nubikini) / Pexels)
People often share with me their dreams. Usually we will tell those who share their dreams with us: “Dreams aren’t real!” But the illusory state of our dreams can be quite interesting sometimes. There was once I had a dream just before I woke up…
In my dream, I saw a bright circle of light slowly approaching me, with a familiar human figure standing in the middle. As it drew closer and closer to me, the person put her palms together and bowed to me. After that, she waved her hand at me, and the circle of light slowly faded away. It was then that I heard the clacking of the wooden sticks to wake everyone up and get ready for the early morning Dharma service.
The dream wasn’t real of course, but, it seemed quite special. I felt a sense of joy in that dream and even after I woke up. In fact, I was informed of the passing on of a volunteer just a day ago, and her body had been cremated. I wondered if the dream was a manifestation of my thoughts. Anyway, what is worth sharing is the exemplary spirit of this late Tzu Chi commissioner.
For more than a year, when it was the turn for Tzu Chi volunteers in her district to serve at the Tzu Chi Medical Center in Hualien, she would always seize the opportunity to join them. Despite her poor health, she always remembered my words: “The more ‘broken’ a car (i.e. our physical body) is, the more we should use it. If you put it aside and don’t drive it, the sooner the car has to be scrapped. So, we should make use of it as much as we can.”
She was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer later on. At the time, she often experienced shortness of breath as her cancer cells had spread to her heart, and there was also water retention in her lungs. As her condition was very critical, she was immediately admitted into a hospital. She was subsequently transferred to a Tzu Chi hospital, where the doctor removed over 2000cc of water from her lungs.
Whenever she had visitors in the ICU, she always put on a smile, albeit wearing an oxygen mask. Later, she was transferred to a normal ward, and when her condition stabilised, she would share about Tzu Chi with other patients.
When I visited her one day, she sat on her bed waiting for me patiently, with neatly combed hair. “You’ve just gone through an operation yesterday, and you’re already so brave and strong today!” I said.
“I just have to be brave. We can only win if we are willing to fight! Master, don’t worry. My body has always been this way, and this is why I have to fight. I will win the battle if I can overcome it. Because you are in need of helping hands, I will do my best to serve. Even if I can’t make it, I will ‘leave’ (pass away) and ‘return’ (be reborn) as soon as possible!” she said with a smile. She spoke in such a relaxed manner as if she were referring to another person’s condition.
After I returned from a trip around Taiwan, I was informed by a volunteer that she had already passed away, and many people recited the Buddha’s name for her. I saw her son when I arrived at the hospital the next morning, and he appeared very calm. I said to him: “Your mother has passed on peacefully. You need not worry anymore.”
He replied, “My mum had the company of so many Tzu Chi sisters during the period of time before she passed away. Seeing her so happy, I felt happy, too. I will do what she asked me to do and take over her duties in Tzu Chi.”
“That’s great! With her son taking over her place, she can ‘quickly move on and return’ with peace of mind, without any pain and suffering,” I said.
He added, “Mum used to say that if she could not make it, she would ‘leave’ and ‘return’ as soon as possible. She had left peacefully with no suffering.”
Life and death are serious matters. We were clueless as to how we were born, but I hope that we will have a clear mind when it is time for us to depart the world. Take a look at the example above. As the woman’s heart was filled with loving kindness and compassion, and she had served with joy, she was able to pass on peacefully. She had indeed lived and died in peace.
Extracted from “Sheng Si Jie Zi Zai”《生死皆自在》
Translated by the Tzu Chi Singapore translation team
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