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The goal of spiritual cultivation is to return to our pure, innate nature. We should treat others with a broad and open mind, always give support to others, and be humble and respectful towards them. We must also accept every situation with a constant learning attitude, regardless of whether it is pleasant or unpleasant.”
In our spiritual cultivation, if we are able to set aside our biased thoughts and opinions, we will realise that the Dharma can be found in everything. The ancient Chinese sages said, “There is nothing to say about the ultimate ‘Way’”, because the ‘Way’ can never be expressed in words or language. But if we act with the purest thoughts and intentions, everything we do or say will be an expression of the Dharma.
The Buddha further said, “It is difficult to meet virtuous and wise people.” It is hard to avoid friends who like to gossip or are harmful to us, and harder still to meet friends who are virtuous and wise. A virtuous and wise friend or mentor is someone who can inspire kindness and wisdom in us. He is able to give us emotional support and lift our spirit when we feel down, helping us to emerge from the darkness of a mundane life and turn towards the light of the sages.
But where do we find such virtuous and wise friends who can guide us to solve our problems and help resolve our interpersonal conflicts? Even if we have the karmic conditions to meet such an excellent friend, if we are unable to eliminate our biases and judgements, we will not be able to learn and accept what he has to teach us.
If every one of us can remove our biases, then the words of a wise and virtuous friend will be able to help resolve our interpersonal conflicts. Spiritual cultivation is about returning to our pure, innate nature. If we harbour delusions, then we are not in touch with the truth due to a deluded mind. In a conversation, for example, the speaker may mean well with his words, but if the listener interprets his message with a deluded or troubled mind, the listener is likely to distort his good intentions and see his positive message as a negative one. The listener may even suspect that the speaker is biased against him even though the latter is telling the truth.
Another instance is when a person sees others engaging in a conversation and suspects that the latter are gossiping about, slandering, or criticizing him. This is a result of the person’s own deluded mind; it is both a delusion and an obsession. If one does not remove one’s delusions and biases, one will not be able to accept the Buddha’s teachings, no matter how good they are.
Confucius said, “Among a group of three, we can always learn from the other two. We should choose to learn from the one with good qualities and correct ourselves when we see the one exhibiting bad behaviour.” This serves as a reminder for us to treat everyone around us as “teachers”.
A good person will display a personality full of light and hope, which is well-liked and admired by others. Such a person is a role model we should learn from. On the contrary, a bad person who displays improper behaviour will help us to clearly discern what is right from wrong, which spurs us to reflect on ourselves and practise self-vigilance. Such a person will still teach us something valuable, hence the saying by Confucius, “Among a group of three, we can always learn from the other two”.
The purpose of spiritual cultivation is to return to our pure, innate nature. We should treat others with a broad and open mind, always give others support, and be humble and respectful towards them. We must also accept every situation with a constant learning attitude, regardless of whether it is pleasant or unpleasant. If we are able to do so, then everything and everyone in this world can serve as our “wise and virtuous friend or mentor”, who helps us to learn the Dharma and leads us towards the right path. As long as we face every situation that arises in life with a pure and upright mind, we will be able to gain insights. Indeed, everything and every person in this world is something or someone that we can learn from.
Extracted from “Sheng Huo De Zhi Hui”《生活的智慧》
Translated by the Tzu Chi Singapore translation team
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